8w3d

Another u/s today.  I went in to it nervous (really when will that stop?).   Symptoms have been changing TMI diarrhea turned to constipation back to diarrhea.  I'm not as tired.  My nether regions just feel fuller.  I'm not cramping, but it does get sore.  Like my ute worked out for an hour.  -- you know normal things that freak me out.

But everything was fine.  Perfect even.  The babies are measuring 19.9mm and 21.6mm respectively (though as my RE said it's such tiny measurements that throughout the pregnancy they can go back and forth between who is the big one and who is the small one.

Hearts beating away.

We even saw them both move.  One almost waving.  The other as if he just had a huge full body hiccup.

That fluid pocket we were worried about  is now totally gone.

My cervix is at 4.8cm

I mean it was a great u/s.   So why am I not feeling okay?  Shouldn't I at least get a few days of peace after seeing that everything is going perfectly?

I don't know what to do.  I think I might have to forbid myself from going to the message boards.  I have to stop looking at people that lose babies after great 8w3d u/s.  And the other end too.  I have to stop reading about people who had 8w3d u/s and their babe is measuring bigger than mine.

I need to stop it all.  This might be my last pregnancy.  Can't I enjoy one of them?

It Finally Sinks In

Grace and Newman protecting the twins

I'm having twins.    Today was our 7w3d u/s.   Before being wanded my RE said "Okay, at 7w3d's the fetal poles should be at least 5mm with obvious heartbeats."  

I know my RE likes to start with low expectations.  My husband doesn't know this.  So when she wanded me and told us the babies were measuring 12.2 mm and 12.4 mm respectively he thought we were making giants. Instead my RE explained these were AWESOME measurements.  In fact both babies are measuring  a few days ahead.  Heart Beats in the 150s.   Just perfect.

And that pesky little fluid sack went from about 8mm by 7mm to 9mm by 3mm.  It's just this little slit that my RE even had trouble finding.

This appointment couldn't have gone any better.   She kept saying things like A+ A+ you guys are going to need to get a bigger car.

Today is the day it really hit me.  We are probably going to be having twins.

2 Heartbeats

Two perfect little heartbeats.  Two perfect little babies.  The same size.  An almost perfect appointment.  Almost.  There is also a tiny (less than a centimeter) fluid pocket above one of the babies.  My RE said it's not a SCH...yet.  She said it's not a problem...yet.   But we want to nip it in the bud before it becomes one.

So for the next few weeks me and those two perfect little babies are going to be on modified bedrest.  No errands (including shopping..booo)  No cleaning (yeah!)  No lifting anything over 10 pounds.  (Which not only means no Bea, but 3 of our 4 cats are out too).

The RE said 98% of these things will resolve itself.  We're just being extra cautious to make sure it does.

So to recap...   2 HEARTBEATS! and another u/s on the 21st.

5w4d

I got my blood work back from yesterday (5w3d) and estrogen and progesterone are normal.  My thyroid is normal.  And my beta went from 216 ten days earlier to 7346.

My nurse said "Well we know why."

Twins

Holy.  Shit.

We saw TWO sacs and TWO yolk sacs.  Hopefully next week we'll see TWO heartbeats.

Our RE said everything is measuring perfectly.

When I first got my BFP my husband said something like "I don't believe in fate or magic or feelings or anything like that.  But I KNOW you're pregnant with twins.  I just know it."

Weird since we transferred two embryos with Bea and just got Bea.  We transferred two embryos with our FET and got bubkis.   So why now did he think twins.

Then we got our betas back and they weren't spectacularly high.  They barely doubled.  I assumed he was wrong.

Never doubt my husband when it comes to the workings of my uterus.   He also knew Bea was a girl the whole time I was sure she was a he.

He has no feelings about those two little beans up there.  Here's hoping we get to find out.

HOLY.  SHIT.

U/S Tomorrow Let the Freak Out Begin!

This last week I have had a lot of symptoms.   Basically I wake up feeling great and then by noon or one I just get tired and need to lie down.

Sometimes I can't even look at food.  Sometimes I'm starving.

My go to (and it was my go to with Bea) is mozzarella cheese and bread...in any form.  Pizza.  Garlic Bread with cheese.  Mozzarella sticks.  I'm eating it.

Tomorrow is my first u/s.  So of course I need to start freaking out.  How am I going to self sabotage this time?   By having a great day yesterday.   By great I mean I didn't have to lie down at all.   I went grocery shopping and felt exhausted.  I went to the park with Bea and had to sit down for most of it.  But in my head my symptoms are gone and this is a horrible sign.

My MIL is here.  Usually when I collapse on my bed our Nanny is here or my husband.  I guess I don't feel like I have "permission" to just leave Bea.  Like it's not my MILs job.  Perhaps that's why I stayed up the whole time?

My appetite was better yesterday.   Once again could this be because I had to make sure my MIL was eating too?

The past few days I've been dealing with insomnia.  A big change from my sleeping 12 hours a day like I have been the last week.   Perhaps this is just nerves?

My vivid dreams are gone.  Maybe because I'm not sleeping as much?

Everything has a logical answer.  Of course one logical answer could be that I'm not pregnant anymore.

We'll know tomorrow.