11dp5dt

3rd Beta: 192

Average for 16dpo: 202

I'm practically normal!!

Doubling time: 32 hours.

No more Betas.....first ultrasound Thursday March 25th.

Still no cramping. No spotting. Just pregnant.

Holy crap. I'm pregnant. When do I start actually believing that?

Symptoms for those who care: One day of water CM. Tired earlier. Loss of appetite. Peeing ALL THE TIME....tiny bouts of nausea. Boobs still don't hurt which I hope is a comfort to those of you who also have boobs of steel that feel nothing when almost everyone else has painful nips as a first symptom of pregnancy.

9dp5dt

This is not going to be long. I have a lot to say, but I'm afraid to say it. I don't want to jink myself or start getting my hopes up.

What I will say is:

6dp5dt HCG was 17
8dp5dt HCG was 44

Doubling Time is roughly 31 hours.

Next Beta is Tuesday, 11dp5dt

No spotting. No cramping. Lots of positive HPTs.

Still Pregnant....For Now

Beta at 6dp5dt was 17.

Not great.

After a car ride home bucking myself up and then a few minutes convincing my DH that everything is going to be just fine..... I peed and wiped brown.

Really not great.

Nothing's over. But it's close.

Oh well. At least I go to be pregnant for a day.

I hate how hurt my husband is. He's a great man and deserves better than this.

5dp5dt

I didn't test this morning. 5dp5dt feels like the day a lot of women get their positive tests. I didn't think I could take the glaring white pregnancy test. I have NO symptoms. Not a cramp. Not sore boobies. Nothing. But also no more blood so that's good too. If there is anything I guess it's a loss of appetite, which I chalk up to nerves.

We got out of work very early today so I figured I'd go to Walgreens and buy some pregnancy tests. The ones on sale of course...even with something this important I want a deal.

On the drive home I had to go pee so I figured why the hell not POAS? It was the afternoon (clearly not FMU), I'll use the least sensitive test and I had peed less than three hours early so when it came up negative I could blame all that and still believe there was a chance I was pregnant.

So I pee. I dunk. I flip through a magazine. I check the test....

And it's positive. And it stayed positive in indoor light, outdoor light, bathroom light, bedroom light....the line was still there.I grabbed a digital assuming because I got the test on sale at Walgreens it must be defective. (there is NO way I'm pregnant).

The digital said "Pregnant". I don't know if I believe it yet. But that's what it said.

So two positive tests.

I called my BFF and had her meet me at Walgreens to buy the same exact tests. We bought $70 worth of tests. Jess made a joke to the checkout guy that we were partying tonight.

We went home and I made Jess (on BCP) take the same tests to prove that they didn't give everyone the same "pregnant" results. Her's said "Not Pregnant". Holy shit...this is real.

When my husband got home I had a baseball shaped Easter basket with the positive test in it. I said I got him something from the new Walgreen's. He looked at it and it took him a few minutes to piece it together. He started shaking. "Is this serious?!?!" We hugged. He looked like he was going to cry. We compared the two positives to Jess's two negatives. He kind of believes it too.

This so weird. I think in theory I knew this would happen someday. But I didn't really believe it. I still don't really believe it.

Now what? I know what it's like to be infertile. I don't know how to be pregnant.

I'm Freaking Out

I was so happy just a few hours ago. My how things change.

The doctor called to tell me my Progesterone test came back "Very Low". I shoved a suppository in and she had me double my PIO. She said to have Jeremy do it as soon as he got home....even if it's early.

Sounds panicky doesn't it?

I asked her what this means. She said we're at a point that too much lower would be "dangerously low" for sustaining pregnancy, but it wouldn't effect if I was pregnant or not. (which seems like bullshit since i just saw online low progesterone can effect implantation.)

This must be why I started bleeding this day last time. I just didn't know it cause instead of testing I was at my FIL's funeral. So of course every trip to the bathroom has become a search for spotting. A little bit ago I found the tiniest little bit of brown.

I want to throw up. It's over before it even started. Even if it's not over....it feels like it.

If there is a positive....and I doubt it....at least next time we'll know sooner.

FUCK.

3dp5dt

I had four embryos left after transfer. I thought one had a real chance of freezing. Could you imagine actually having a frozen embryo? Neither could I.

So today was the day I find out if anything froze. Got a call from the nurse...a new one. This was my first time talking to her.

Nurse: "Hello, this is Vikki. Dr. B_____ wanted me to call and let you know about your embryos."

Me: "Great." (though inside I'm thinking "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ONE FREEZE!")
Nurse: "Looks like you have four frozen."

Me: "........ (speechlessness)" then "Holy crap! Seriously?!"

She told me 3 are considered excellent and 1 is average. That's right ALL FOUR remaining blasts FROZE!!! I don't even know what to do with myself right now.

Other than that amazing news, here's what's up... Last night I kept waking up either drenched in sweat (thank you progesterone) or just bloody uncomfortable. Bed rest stopped this morning. I celebrated with a shower. It felt good. I gave blood to check progesterone levels and was planning on going to the mall, but got super tired and sweaty so i went home instead.

I have no cramps. No bleeding. No painful boobies. No symptoms. And I'm okay with that. I've come to peace with the fact that 1. It's still early and 2. a lot of people feel nothing. We'll see what happens at Beta a week from today. (right...like I can wait that long)

To Lindsay RE: Diet Changes

I did not significantly change my diet at all.

For the last two weeks I tried to eat more veggies, but that was more diet than IVF Diet. I also ate a lot less sugar for the same reason.

What did change? I had MUCH less stress. Last cycle I had just finished a job that caused me to break out in hives. Plus I was dealing with a dying FIL. This cycle my job is fantastic and luckily everyone I love is in good health. And of course the first IVF is so much more stressful than the second. This one has kind of flown by since I not only know what to expect, but I know it's not that bad.

I also really upped my vitamins. A LOT more vitamin D, Calcium, Fish Oil and Folic Acid than just what's in the Prenatals. Once again, this wasn't just for IVF, but for health in general.

Finally the biggest thing was just a change in protocol. I did antigone this time with no Lupron. There were other changes too, but I have a feeling Lupron was my downfall. I stress MY downfall, because what drugs work well for you is very personal.

Hope this helped though I bet it doesn't. I realized reading post after post with titles like "IVF BFPs What Did You Do?" the answers are so damn varied. I really wish there was a right way and a wrong way. Just today I spent hours reading about how much bedrest people did before they got BFPs.... it ranged from "I was gardening day of transfer" to "one full week I didn't leave the bed". As I type this I'm sitting next to a giant glass of grape juice cause I read somewhere that's supposed to help implantation. I doubt it does, but we're just so desperate to do whatever we can.

I hope whatever you do it's the perfect thing for you.