I'm sorry these posts are more facts than feelings. I'm just not ready to admit how I feel. I do not want to get my hopes up. I have no reason not to....there is no spotting (anyone know when I stop feeling extreme relief every time I wipe and don't see red?), no AF cramping (though lots of pulling tugging going on), I POAS yesterday for fun and the line is so dark now you can see it from the moon. My boobs are slightly hurting sometimes. My nipples are darker. I've had brief bouts of nausea and offensives smells...but only brief. I nap in the middle of the day if I can. I pee a lot and no matter how much I drink...and believe me I'm drink a LOT...it's dark yellow. Every night my dreams are crazy vivid. And lets not talk about the copious amounts of CM.
And yet even with all that if I didn't know for a fact I was pregnant, if I was searching for these symptoms, I don't think I would even be suspicious. I don't go around all day feeling pregnant. I go around wishing I felt more pregnant.
First Ultrasound in 4 days.
The fear of getting your hopes up never goes away. I am now 34 weeks, and I still worry about every doctor's visit. Those first few weeks, until the end of the 1st tri, are really rough. Soon, though, you'll be feeling your little one moving around. Good luck at your u/s!
ReplyDeleteI'm the same as Christina, at nearly 35 weeks pg I still stare at my belly with surreal awe "There's a baby in there? I'll believe it when I see it!" As for looking for spotting at every wipe, that probably stopped around 9 weeks, after our first u/s. Then other fears creeped in :o) Your fears are normal, and will ease with time. I'm so excited for you, have a great u/s!
ReplyDeleteThe hormones/moods and insane hunger are the only real "symptoms" I have, even now at 12 weeks. And for me, the dead fetus paranoia is only just now starting to abate.
ReplyDeleteI agree with PP - the fear never really goes away completely. But it gets better. I think when you start feeling kicks, you can actually believe you are pregnant... until then I kept thinking maybe I was just having one of those hysterical pregnancies they always show on TV. :)
ReplyDeleteSO excited for your first u/s... I wonder if it's twins??!!