2 Heartbeats

Two perfect little heartbeats.  Two perfect little babies.  The same size.  An almost perfect appointment.  Almost.  There is also a tiny (less than a centimeter) fluid pocket above one of the babies.  My RE said it's not a SCH...yet.  She said it's not a problem...yet.   But we want to nip it in the bud before it becomes one.

So for the next few weeks me and those two perfect little babies are going to be on modified bedrest.  No errands (including shopping..booo)  No cleaning (yeah!)  No lifting anything over 10 pounds.  (Which not only means no Bea, but 3 of our 4 cats are out too).

The RE said 98% of these things will resolve itself.  We're just being extra cautious to make sure it does.

So to recap...   2 HEARTBEATS! and another u/s on the 21st.

5w4d

I got my blood work back from yesterday (5w3d) and estrogen and progesterone are normal.  My thyroid is normal.  And my beta went from 216 ten days earlier to 7346.

My nurse said "Well we know why."

Twins

Holy.  Shit.

We saw TWO sacs and TWO yolk sacs.  Hopefully next week we'll see TWO heartbeats.

Our RE said everything is measuring perfectly.

When I first got my BFP my husband said something like "I don't believe in fate or magic or feelings or anything like that.  But I KNOW you're pregnant with twins.  I just know it."

Weird since we transferred two embryos with Bea and just got Bea.  We transferred two embryos with our FET and got bubkis.   So why now did he think twins.

Then we got our betas back and they weren't spectacularly high.  They barely doubled.  I assumed he was wrong.

Never doubt my husband when it comes to the workings of my uterus.   He also knew Bea was a girl the whole time I was sure she was a he.

He has no feelings about those two little beans up there.  Here's hoping we get to find out.

HOLY.  SHIT.

U/S Tomorrow Let the Freak Out Begin!

This last week I have had a lot of symptoms.   Basically I wake up feeling great and then by noon or one I just get tired and need to lie down.

Sometimes I can't even look at food.  Sometimes I'm starving.

My go to (and it was my go to with Bea) is mozzarella cheese and bread...in any form.  Pizza.  Garlic Bread with cheese.  Mozzarella sticks.  I'm eating it.

Tomorrow is my first u/s.  So of course I need to start freaking out.  How am I going to self sabotage this time?   By having a great day yesterday.   By great I mean I didn't have to lie down at all.   I went grocery shopping and felt exhausted.  I went to the park with Bea and had to sit down for most of it.  But in my head my symptoms are gone and this is a horrible sign.

My MIL is here.  Usually when I collapse on my bed our Nanny is here or my husband.  I guess I don't feel like I have "permission" to just leave Bea.  Like it's not my MILs job.  Perhaps that's why I stayed up the whole time?

My appetite was better yesterday.   Once again could this be because I had to make sure my MIL was eating too?

The past few days I've been dealing with insomnia.  A big change from my sleeping 12 hours a day like I have been the last week.   Perhaps this is just nerves?

My vivid dreams are gone.  Maybe because I'm not sleeping as much?

Everything has a logical answer.  Of course one logical answer could be that I'm not pregnant anymore.

We'll know tomorrow.

216

My RE's nurse called.  I picked up the phone.  Said "Hello"?  And she said "Could you hold on a minute?"  and took another call!

Longest minute ever.

She came back and said "You're beta is 216 so you are definitely pregnant."

When I joked with her about the minute, she said if she calls it's usually good news.  If the doctor calls then it's usually bad.

She called with the last Beta too.   So even though it made for a long weekend - that 69 I guess was good news too.

Now worry wart that I am started thinking "That's a doubling time of 43 hours.... Bea's were in the mid-30s...".

I texted that to my BFF and she reminded me I said if I'm ever lucky enough to get pregnant again I would enjoy the pregnancy and not worry the entire time.

I was going to respond with something like "I'll stop worrying after the heartbeat or the NT scan or the..." But I stopped.  I'm just going to enjoy this.  My beta was right where it needed to be.  I'm pregnant.

Almost There....

I survived the weekend.   By this time tomorrow I'll either be elated or devastated.

Crazy how one phone call can do that to a girl, huh?

69

47 hours later and my beta went from 37 to 69.

Not a true double.   Fuck.

I feel like I'm being punished.  Punished for getting my hopes up.  Punished for planning how I was going to tell my parents.  Punished for even believing it would be this "easy".

So now I have a shitty weekend ahead of me as I wait for Monday's Beta.

Fuck.