Friday, April 24, 2009

Bestest Best Friend

I feel really sorry for my best friend right now.    She tries her best to be supportive and not say the wrong thing, but it's a battle she can't win.  She has no idea what I'm going through.  She knows it's hard.  She knows I'm aching.  And try as she might she can't do anything about it.  Even worse, until we learn otherwise she is Fertile and that makes her the enemy.

The simplest statement can cause me to blow up at her.  For instance....  Best Friend: "I was talking to someone who knew somebody that had to take a loan out for her IVF.  Thank god you have enough in savings!"   Me: "This time!  But what if I have to do this again?!  And again?!?  I'm terrified this will wipe out everything we have!!! (break out into tears)  "I don't want to talk right now."  ( slam down phone)

See what she has to deal with?  And despite all that she sticks around.  And yesterday she went one step further.  She gave me an envelope that said "Prenatal Coupons".  I opened it up and there were dozens of tiny colored pieces of paper.  Each shaped like a diaper or a pregnant woman etc.  And each piece had a favor written on it that I could use when times got tough.  The dirty diapers...."Free snack of you choice brought to your house when on bedrest"  The pregnant lady?  "Free mani/pedi".  And the list goes on and on.  Once again I cried (I cry a lot these days) but for an entirely different reason.

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