I should have known I wouldn't be super hopeful for too long.
Don't worry we still have some live embies. 5 or 6 to be exact. But perfect embies at this stage (day 3) should be 8 cell. Some advanced little buggers get to 10! Well mine. Not so much. 2 at 7 cells. 1 at 6 and 3 at 5 cells.
I'm already convinced this cycle has failed and I haven't even had my transfer yet (which will be Friday day 5).
I know, I know...7 cells aren't that bad....they can still turn into awesome blasts.....etc. etc. etc.
Sure they could. But today google is not my friend. And when you search around for women who had BFPs with 3dt all you see is "transferred 2 beautiful 8cell embryos." They are always beautiful and they are always 8 cell. I have desperately tried to find people talking about sub-par embies at 3dpr that turn in to rockstars by day 5. I found one story. I freaking hate google.
I know the best thing to do is not worry about it. They are still alive. That is the important part. And a lot can happen by Friday. I should just go to ET with my hopes up and expect to hear the words "perfect blasts".
I just don't feel that optimistic right now.
If (and more likely when) this doesn't work, we are going to take a long break. Maybe 6 months. We have a dying FIL, my new job and depleted finances to worry about for now. I think that is the thing that worries me the most. That long 6 month void. 6 more months I lose out on with my kids.
I just looked at my cell phone. The last text I sent to my husband was "5 Left!!!" I was so excited when I first heard the news. I had been having dreams all night that we had three still alive. Why did that excitement last mere minutes?
This can still work. Even if I heard you have 7 8cells I would have found something to worry about.
This ends now. As of this moment I am going to be positive about this!....well for a few more minutes anyway.