Tuesday, June 2, 2009


Today on one of the message boards I frequent someone offered up some free follistim.  I jumped at the chance and was SOOO excited to get the email saying she was sending it my way.  I immediately called my husband and told him.  I was giddy.

Five minutes later I get a follow-up email.  She made a mistake.  Someone emailed her before me.  What did I want her to do?  

What am I going to say?  Screw that girl I WANT IT?  (Cause I did want it).  Instead I said if she was first she deserves it. 

Here's the kicker... I started crying.  WTF?  Yeah, I'm in the middle of AF so that would explain a little of that, but seriously? Crying?  

Then I realized why.  "Winning" that follistim felt like the first good luck of my entire IF journey.  Every cycle delayed cause of a cyst.  Every BFN.  Every cancelled IVF...I almost always get the bad news.  Here I was finally on the right side.  For once.

And it was taken away.    

I think there is very little chance that the kind soul donating the follistim reads this blog.  She's been pregnant longer than I've been writing it.  But on the off chance you are....  PLEASE don't feel bad about this.  You are doing a really nice thing.  This is my issue not yours.

In AF news...cause what's a Tuesday  without talking about my menses?  It is fast and furious.  And man oh man the cramps....ouch.    Tomorrow I have my RE appointment and we'll learn what my immediate fate is.  

Of course I'm expecting bad luck..... that's the point of this post right?

I just checked my email and found this from my husband re: the follistim

"We’re very fortunate overall, and I love you very much.  Don’t forget that"

I guess it's not all bad luck....


  1. That sucks!!! Free meds are wonderful in this struggle. Check with the one chick on the boards that runs the "donation" exchange. I can't remember who it is, but maybe she can set something up?

  2. I'm sorry. If I had any meds leftover from our cycles, I would freely offer them up to you.

    I know I used to post a lot on a chatboard called the Nest (except now I think it's called the Bump.) A lot of the girls on the TTTC (Trouble Trying To Conceive) Board would send out meds if they had leftovers. You might consider joining a board like that and seeing what happens.

    Good luck to you - thank you for your post on my blog. :)

  3. I do not recall f you said you are taking baby aspirin? That makes AF come like a freight train.

  4. I'm sorry to hear about the follistim. It must have been really disappointing. It is hard to focus on the positives during a long and difficult journey through IF. It sounds as though your husband is lovely.
    I am thinking of you.

  5. I am so sorry:( OOP sucks. Sucks big time.

  6. I will preface this with - I'm not the person you are talking about... and I don't know how to email you off this site. I have some leftover Follistim if you want it. I have been diagnosed with fibroids, and am awaiting surgery so I can not finish my round. I have about 3/4 left of a 900 iu vial. I also have a dose of the trigger shot, Pregnyl. I don't know if you would need that as well, but it's going in the garbage if you can't use it. My dr. won't take the Pregnyl back, and obviously the Follistim is already open.

    Please email me at: anne underscore bourgeois75 at hotmail dot com