Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Once again.  These mean nothing.  I just want my future self to be aware of what is "normal" for a failed cycle.

Last night was a horrible night.  I woke up dozens of times.  Sometimes cause of cramps.  Sometimes cause of bloat.  Sometimes cause of hot flashes.  Sometimes cause my back hurt.  I just could not get comfortable. 

I had a dream I got a BFP.  We didn't know if the test was faulty so we ran to the pile of Dollar Store tests I keep next to the toilet.  I had used them all!  We Panicked.  I woke up.

I have had three small bouts of nausea today.  I think it's cause of the stress.

I had an acupuncture appointment today.  I walked in to the office and asked if she'd put the space heater on cause I was cold.  2 minutes later she was testing my pulse and I had a HUGE hot flash.  She could feel the heat radiating off my body.  She shut the space heater off.  By the time she was done poking me I was cold again and needed the heater back on.

I have cried so many times today.  I'm an emotional wreck.

I did POAS today.  BFN.

Why am I starting to get my hopes I?  Don't I know how bad it will hurt if/ WHEN I'm not pregnant?  

On a happier less psychotic note.... I got a job.  Woohoo!


  1. Hooray for a job!

    For the bloat try lemon tea. Take a slice of lemon and pour boiling water on it. Let it steep and then drink it. Do that first thing in the morning on an empty stomach. Have another cup midday.

  2. Thank you Celia. That sounds good even when i don't have bloat!