Friday, May 29, 2009


Big Fracking Surprise.   So why do I still feel so bad.

Maybe you readers (the two of you) would have an opinion on this.  I will be starting a new job on June 15th.  My RE seems to think if all goes well I could start stimming CD3  and that means if all works perfectly (and really when does it ever?) I could have ER on June 13th.  That means no showing up late for a new job.  No missing work for Retriv.  It would mean going in to a new job saying "hey, i scheduled a procedure before I got this job.  I will be taking two days off (for transfer...they don't need to know why).

If I don't do this I have NO idea when I'll have another chance at IVF.  I guess next hiatus which is in roughly 9 months.

Here is the reason to not do it.  My DH's cousin's wedding is the weekend of the 13th.  It's cross country.  It is also another chance my DH can see his dying father.  He could go and freeze his goods but how sad will ER be without him?  I can't make him stay with me.  But boy I wish he would.

I guess our other option is we take a break.  I thought I could handle that, but just talking to my RE I'm feel like "What's next? Let's go go go!"    But seriously.  This isn't fair to my husband.  He is dealing with a DYING FATHER.  He doesn't need more shit on his plate.  I think I'm being selfish.  What's a few months off?  A few pressureless months where I get used to work and he doesn't have to choose between the people he loves.



  1. I'm so sorry about your negative. They totally blow. Whether or not to take a break is a tough choice. It's like a game of tug-o-war and you are the rope. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers

  2. I'm so sorry to hear about your BFN. It is really tough to know what to do next. For me, I have decided to continue with IVF even when my DH is away for work. He was thankfully here for the retrieval but will miss the transfer. It is OK if you have good support, but it depends on what you think is best for you and your relationship... Thank you for your comments on my blog, and it's nice to "meet you." I'll be following your story.

  3. Wow. I really have no advice for you. I can only imagine what a difficult situation this is, with so much going on and so many emotions involved. As the previous poster stated, I think if it were me the choice as to whether or not to take a break would depend upon the extent of my local support system. I hope yours is much better than mine!

    And...I'm sorry about the BFN. No matter how much you expect it, it doesn't seem to soften the blow.

  4. Hmmm. It's hard. When we found out we needed IVF I was ready to jump in...buuuuuut it wasn't the right time. My husband didn't want it then, I had just started a new job, we didn't have the money. We had to wait. It was the hardest thing ever...but had we not waited a lot of other things wouldn't have worked out the way they did either. So...even if I didn't get knocked up I'm still glad I waited for the 'right' time...even if I got the 'wrong' result...I think, anyway.

    It's a tough choice...and it's even tougher to make a tough choice during tough times...and there are no tougher times than a BFN...

    I'm sorry. :-(
    Hang in there...the answer will come to you.

  5. I'm sorry about the BFN :( If it were me, I would be gung-ho, ready to go ahead. But, only you can know if the timing is right. What do you feel like is the right thing to do? Good luck with whatever decision you make.